How can I convince my mother to let me buy a motorcycle?

Your mother is really scared that you will get hurt riding. If you have a friend that has one that you could ride to show her how you can keep control of the thing she might be more receptive to you having one.You need to be able to let her know you will be a responsible rider and not drive crazy.

You are an adult.

Sit down with her, and ask her what her objections are. Safety, expense, just being young and crazy, etc….

See if there is any logical grounding in them.
If there isn’t, and it’s all emotional, then there’s not really any hope….. because you can’t fight emotional reasons….

Your mother is never going to stop being your mother and wanting what she perceives to be best for you. I’m 35 and my mother still does it. Your options are to either get one regardless of what she says - because she’s never going to change her mind - or wait til you move out.

It’s going to be a tough sell. Mothers worry about their sons, and *everyone* has heard horror stories about motorcycles. Like it or not, as long as you’re living in the same house, you’re going to be somewhat subject to your parent opinions. So you’re going to have to either confront, compromise or wait.

I think the only non-confrontational approach is to sit down with her and talk. Tell her that you’ve wanted a bike for years, and you want her to feel more at ease about you riding one. Try to understand what her fears are, and ask her under what conditions would she be accepting of you riding a bike. Always wear a helmet? Always wear leathers? Don’t ride on the freeway?

At the very least, making her part of the discussion (and having her set some terms) will show you respect her opinion, while still making it clear that this is something you really want.

The only alternative is to wait until you move out.

HBJ

You’ll never convince her, however your Dad could probably wear her down. Team up with your Dad (possibly a bribe) and you’ll be at the Honda shop in no time!

This worked for me!

Recognize that your Mother loves you and wants what is best for you. What she thinks is best for you is for you to ‘live’ at home. A lot of factors combine to create a ‘life’. In your case , at this time, one big factor is that you want a motorcycle. What you need at 19 is a motocycle. What you don’t need at 19 is Mom’s permission. Remember that Mom loves you and wants you to live at home. She won’t through you out with your new motorcycle and add another worry to her agenda.

I just waited until I moved out and didn’t tell her.

Borrow or rent one. Then take your mom for a ride. That’s how I convinced my mom. As soon as she got the wind in her hair, it was ’safety shmafety’.

My father had two rules. While you live in my house.
No guns
No motorcycles.
After you move out you can f#@# yourself up as mouch as you want.
my son has those same rules
I don’t care about you, but when you get your bike stay away from my town.
Please, Remember to sign your organ donor card

Ok, this answer has two parts so please read through all of it.

Part 1. You will NEVER get your mother’s permission to ride, period. I, being a (54 yr old) mom and now grandma, I know that she would always feel that if something bad happened to you, it would be in direct correlation to her permission, an had she not given it, you would still be ok. So that’s a given.

Part 2. My daughter (only child and 23 at the time) wanted to ride and I, calling them donorcycles, said only over my dead body. Well, LOL, my loving, supportive husband said 5 years ago (I don’t remember the context) “Honey, I don’t think riding a bike is for you” (wink, wink!!) So, of course, stubborn me, said to my daughter, “let’s take lessons together”, to which her eyes popped out and said “are you serious, mom?”…..anyway, long story short - we did it together and I LOVED IT. We rode together for 3 years but now she is a new mommy so she parked her Buell. I however continue to ride and have a 750 cc Shadow Ace and a 695cc Ducati Monster.

Moral - if you are only 19, she is probably young enough to ride - so you and your dad could ALL sign up for lessons and that way she could see what it’s all about. If she can feel that you are learning how to be safe, she might do it. And you never know, she might just let you come along LOL. Here are a couple of websites you might look at together (or have her e-mail me).

PS - when MY parents (both retired doctors) found out that I had a motorcycle, they blew a gasket LOL and asked me if I had gone insane in my “old age” LOL

PPS - don’t get your dad to “wear down” your mom because if something happened to you she would never forgive him either and may even destroy their marriage over something like that.

I am a mother of a son—-had he EVER come to me and wanted a motorcycle, I would have been JUST as negative about it as your mom EVEN THOUGH I have ridden on one or two myself in my lifetime…. Here’s why… Three of my very BEST friends were killed in 3 separate accidents while driving or RIDING on a motorcycle. None of the accidents were the fault of ANY of the motorcycle drivers….In each, a car plowed into THEM…. but that didn’t matter… it still left 3 friends DEAD… It’s not so much the motorcycle driver who is the bad driver, but the cars that follow too closely, or do stupid things while passing a motorcycle, (like cutting them off quickly)… so, maybe your mom is right to worry because no matter HOW good a driver YOU might be, there will always be someone on the road who isn’t as good and if you were on a motorcycle and met UP with one of these drivers, well, there isn’t much protection between you and the road. Even if you were to GET a motorcycle, in order to get your license, you would have to find SOMEONE who is a licensed motorcycle operator who MUST go with you when you go out to practice… you can NEVER ride alone unless you ARE licensed… Look, a lot of guys have dreams of riding motorcycles… SOME satisfy those dreams by getting a motorcycle–others do NOT. Maybe by NOT allowing you to have a motorcycle while you live home, your mom MIGHT just be saving your life. Don’t make such a big deal about it NOW—but once you ARE out on your own, and if you still want a bike, then go get one… HOWEVER, if ANYTHING happens to you while you are out on that bike, I SURE hope you live through it long enough for your mom to come and say “I TOLD YOU SO”.!!!!!!

Move out.
Your mother has given you an ultimatum. Either toe the line or move out.

Just tell her you have already had a bike for the past year and ask if you can bring it home now.

Life is dangerous, you could choke on a chicken bone at lunch and die. You could slip in the tub and split your skull open ( happens every day). Medical malpractice kills more people than motorcycle accidents, are you going to stop going to the doctor?
Tell Mom you do not want to live your life in fear as she does.

u are an adult now. u dont need her approval anymore, and if she cant accept the fact that u are an adult, tough. what kind of bike will seriously make or break her ‘acceptance’. u get a rocket, and it’ll be 3-5 odds she’ll be naggin on u like white on rice, but maybe not so if a cruiser.
if u are already walkin the line on gettin a suspended license from speeding tickets, maybe she’s right about not getting a bike right now. speed on a bike dude will kill u in the blink of an eye.

maybe u should take and show her proof u passed the msf course, already got the endorsement, and already have the insurance squared away before u even bring the bike home. just do it clandistine.

Tell her you understand her concern about safety.
Tell her stories about people getting killed driving cars.

This is a fight you’re probably not going to win. Legally you are old enough, but speaking from experience as a father of 3 boys, it’s hard to let go sometimes. Mothers are even worse. When I enlisted in the Marines in 1977, my mother cried every time she saw me for 2 weeks. Damn near broke my heart. Good luck to you on this.

move out… yep that’s a pretty good suggestion! your 19 time to make your own decisions

I got my first ride when I was only 3 years old. My Dad let his baby brother take me down the road and back. After I had my own bike (the second one actually), I found out that my Dad had watched his best friend get killed on a motorcycle before he and Mom got married. Daddy always encouraged me in anything I wanted to do. While you live in Moms house, follow her rules. But getting lessons with her is a great idea. Have your Dad say something about motorcycles not being for old ladies. Good luck.

the only way i convinced my mom was i told her either i could get one and have my dad (rode bikes for years) to teach me, or i could wait till i moved out and be forced to teach myself and probably not do a good job at it. that worked well.

I agree the Bike Babe. I am over 40 and my mother isn’t happy with my decision either.

Also its the other people out there who doesn’t pay attention to motorcyclist. That is a big concern for mothers.